What does being transparent mean?

What does being transparent mean?

Transparency is intentionally baring your soul to the world by showing your true self to others.  Most people hide their essence in fear of rejection, lack of self-confidence, broken-hearted, or lack of fulfillment in life; there are many reasons a person will hold back who they are.  When a person hides behind this veil, they are robbing themselves of a happy and contented life.

By being transparent how can a person bring about a better life?  Through transparency, people are allowing themselves to feel their emotions without trying to understand or “fix” them.  This is a way to give yourself permission to feel and experience your feelings rather than reflect on them.  The creation from this process is a power that comes from within.  It is a peace and freedom of one’s self.  

I read that transparency reveals the character of a person and I could not agree more.  Feelings of fear, rejections, low self-esteem, and broken hearts (to name a few) create uneasiness within us and this leads to internal negative thoughts or Gremlins.  These Gremlins can drown out our essence; the same place transparency grows from.  Transparency removes feelings of uneasiness and drowns out the negative internal voices; this process builds power from within and helps to create positive living.

Working toward transparency should be done with a trusted source, a person that is non-judgmental and will support your growth. 

An exercise for you:

Note the things that prevent you from living a transparent life.

What actions can you implement to become more transparent?

What benefits do you think you would obtain by living transparently?

What risks are you willing to take to live transparently?

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Are you pushing or pulling?

I was reading a newsletter about a person who was pushing on a door when the sign said to pull it and how that happens so often in life in so many other forms. I started thinking to myself “when do I feel like I am pushing instead of pulling?” The answer came easily to me, when I want results from my exhausting efforts. So then I thought, “How can I find ways to pulls so I don’t get frustrated so easily and be able to walk through the door and reap the benefits from my efforts?” The question is harder to answer. Therefore, I have some work ahead me, but I am up for it!

When do you feel like you are pushing instead of pulling? How can you see the sign more clearly, so that you can walk through the door and reap the benefits?

Spectrum of colors: My journey to awareness. Oh, and yes I have a coach! Steps 4 & 5

Stop, Reflect, Reframe

It has been over a month since my last blog, but I have been working on me, working on my family, working on my coaching practice, working on my house, working…working…working… It may come across as a gremlin when really it’s just what I need! I have found that I like to keep busy and more importantly I like to keep working on the things that add value to my life. After my last blog I took some time to STOP, REFLECT and REFRAME. Here is what showed up for me…

I cannot control the elements around me, as much as I tried to, and I cannot control what others will do and say. What I can control is ME; how I act and react, how I live, how I show up in the world. So I did some reframing and over time I have been able to tap into my natural resources and really show up authentically. I take time to laugh with my kids and watch my oldest ride his bike; roll around with my youngest on the floor. I listen to my husband; what makes him tick and what ticks him off! And finally I have been paying more attention to me. I sleep better at night and work out during the day. Just last week I took the week off and painted four rooms in my house. It felt SO good!

I volunteered for the Communications Chair for my local ICF chapter and ended up getting the Marketing Directors position! I have some great opportunities to collaborate with other coaching companies and have volunteered to coach for some local churches.  I don’t know how things will pan out for me, but I trust me enough to put myself out there, give it my best shot and learn every step of the way.

So am I still honoring my top five values? Right now, yes I am. Connections: I’m making them and allowing a comfortable space for the connections to stay. Health: I take time to exercise and I love it! I notice when I am exhausted and take a break! I nourish my mind with knowledge I crave, my body with good food and exercise and my soul with lots of love from my loved ones and myself! Balance: I allow for life to get messy, I notice and move on. It is not as hard to grow a business, take care of little ones, take care of a house, have a happy marriage and fit in time for myself when I know I don’t have to give 100% all the time to everything at once. Prioritize is huge for me and owning my own business allows me set my own schedule; I LOVE that! Information: I have said once I have said it a 1,000 times; knowledge is power! I believe this to be true. We are in the Information age and with all our resources right at our fingers tips, just a click away, how can I not be informed? The more I know the more I grow and the better aware I am about everything! Wealth: I am always looking for ways to grow my practice and bring in more income. My goal is to help people so it is important for me to help even those that cannot afford my services in some capacity. In many ways that is wealthy! Bills are paid, kids are provided for and groceries can be bought! However, I am far from my goal of financial independence. This is a work in progress and I am happy to be working!

So what is next for me? Oh I have LOTS going on. I am creating three workshops; Life Purpose: Who are you and what do you want? Career: How to interview with confidence & What to say on your resume, Shop for less: Eat healthier and never go hungry! I am busy with my clients, busy with my ICF local chapter; my kids haven’t grown up and moved out since my last blog entry so  I have my little angels and now I am ready for bed! It’s 10:38pm!

Until next blog, live well!

Spectrum of colors: My journey to awareness. Oh, and yes I have a coach! Steps 2 & 3

I’m baaaack! It’s been a while since my last blog post and I have been busy building a business, being a mom, wife and getting back to the basics. I did not realize how much learning I would go through exploring my values. How much connection from within I would tap into in order to live authentically. The past few weeks have been tiring yet liberating. I left my blog with these top five values I want to honor everyday; Balance, Connections, Information, Health and Wealth. Now what do these mean to me? Well, I realized that connections and health are inherited values and they are values that I choose to continue to uphold and practice in my life. Balance, information and wealth are core values; values that are import to who I am outside of what I have been taught. The hard part was discovering how I honor them and how I want to continue to honor them.

Connections, to me, embrace so many types of relationships; family, friends, my colleagues, and strangers and more importantly myself. My connections are about how I show up with people and how I openly share my essences with them. I noticed that as much as I value my connections I still felt disconnected and that was from me not showing up authentically. These past few weeks I have noticed when I am not showing up or being from my essence with people. This was huge because it created unwanted boundaries. I started to relax and take more time with my family; most importantly my kids. Holding them and hugging them even though I might have ten things going on at once so they know I am listening and care. Calling my close friends and leaving sweet messages so that they know I love and think about them. Before this exercise I would keep to minimal contact with people I didn’t know, going through life with tunnel vision. That “don’t talk to strangers” mentality; now I take time to wave at strangers, smile and look them in the eyes; say hello. I have also started to take a little more time for myself. Most days this means simply getting to bed earlier and others it means to have some quiet time to read or whatever my pleasure, but it’s important that I have time to nurturer myself.

Health is a big deal for me. I come from to two parents that have unfortunate health backgrounds. My mom’s family has history of cancer, lupus, and alcoholism. My dad’s family has history of heart disease, weight control, high blood pressure and cancer. It is vital that I am aware of my health and the health of my family. From grade school all the way until I got pregnant with my first son I didn’t have to work hard on maintaining my weight. I ate fairly well and exercised or dieted when I gained a few pounds here and there. I did have many moments when I would look in the mirror and cry “Ugh, I’m so fat!” or “I have got to lose some weight!” But little did I realize just how healthy I was until I got pregnant. I packed on around 75 pound with my first child and it took two years to get 60 of it off! I got pregnant again with my second one and another whopping 76 pounds was tacked onto my 5’6” frame! Here I am 15 months later and I have lost around 55 pounds. The lesson that I am learning, with help of my coach (Sue), is that it’s important for me to be healthy for me and my family, not for what the outside world thinks of the way I look. That is huge because I kept getting hung up on what people think when they see me; an overweight person? Well who cares. How will my health habits affect my children’s health habits? So, I am on a journey to better the activity in my life. I have two beautiful sons (my heart beats) to raise; I can’t afford to get SLE lupus, or high blood pressure, have weight issues that decrease my life span. We eat pretty well in my house, I cook 85% of our meals and most of them are West Indian dishes, packed full of veggies. I try to buy organic as often as possible so the most important thing for me to embraces is the power of feel good exercise!
Balance is really time management for me. Being able to juggle my life and values all at once and know that I don’t have to give 100% to everything all at the same time. I like being ‘every woman’ and want to be a happy ‘every woman’. I have different stages that my life goes though and at every stage it’s important for my time management techniques to have the flexibility of change. Sometimes I have items that are low on my priority list so they take the back burner for awhile. Other items will come off completely depending on how effective it really is in how I live and manage my life.

Information is another value that encompasses so much. Have you ever heard the old saying “Knowledge is power?” Well I could not have said it any better! Information is knowledge and knowledge is everywhere! For me information is my vehicle. It provides me with insight on being a good mom, being true to myself based on my values and what drives me. It allows me to grow my business and be aware of the world around me and beyond. Having information about others enables me to effectively communicate with them. Information allows me to be free of ignorance and embrace life as it unfolds; prepares me for ‘what’s next’ and gives me a sense of freedom.

Ok, I am down to my last value. Wealth! Now some of you may say “Wealth! That sounds kind of selfish.” But let me tell you, if I did not have some kind of value for wealth I would have the drive to do some of the things that I choose to do, like work for myself, or the financial resources to do the things I have to do like pay bills. I don’t care to be rich or have more money than God; I just want to help my wonderfully supportive and loving husband support our family. I want my kids to be able to go to college without it being a burden; my husband and I retire with few stresses and enjoy our kids and grandkids. Wealth is a financial security for me and for my family. So how am I honoring this? Well, I am making an effort to cut back and be more sensible about my spending habits. My husband and I agreed on a budget; I balance the check book and pay all bills so I appreciate where the money comes from and where it has to go out to. I am diligently working to grow my life coaching business; a successful practice that helps change seeking people. And we have made important life style changes that fit our current needs.

Gosh, three steps down and the last two to go! It’s been a LONG read and I appreciate you for sticking around to see what all I have to say. I hope that through my journey you are finding inspiration to take your own. Notice that change does not happen overnight and it is a continual journey. The key is to be on the path that YOU choose in order to obtain the results that YOU want.

Until I blog again, stay well!

Spectrum of colors: My journey to awareness. Oh, and yes I have a coach! Step 1

Ever since I became a coach I read all types of coaching books and self-improvement material. This along with my coach training and of course working with my clients have helped me grow, learn more every day and become a more aware person. When my colleagues and I decided to work on a newsletter, which is the catalyst for a workshop we are also working on, I jumped at the opportunity to spear head the project.
Then I started feeling stuck so during the holiday break I had an “Oh crap!” kind of conversation with my coach (Sue) about growing my practice and future workshops. We chatted on and on about what I was doing and what I can do to expand my business more globally. Everything was going along nicely until the “Oh crap!” part happened; she asked me what I valued and what I honor in my life.

WHAM! A ton of reality just smacked me in the face and in that moment I realized I was not honoring my values and that my awareness to some of the important things in my life was less than par. The shocking part was that I had allowed my values to take a back seat in my life, which is one reason I was not honoring them. Well, like the great coach that Sue is, she picked up on where I was getting caught and reeled me back in with a powerful request; practice what I teach and get back to the basics! She was right. I thought about that conversation for the rest of that day and night and following morning and decided that I would get back to the basics and what other way to do it than to following along with the workshop myself and coaching cohorts are currently working on for our newsletter!

So here I am, becoming aware, and the first step is to recognize my values; my top 20 values, then 10 that I most identify with and finally my top five that I feel I honor every day. My to p20 are Acceptance, Accomplishment, Balance, Clarity, Comfort, Connections, Control, Courage, Dedication, Energy, Health, Humor, Independence, Information, Love, Originality, Personal Growth, Understanding, Wealth. The 10 that I identify with most are Accomplishment, Balance, Clarity, Comfort, Connections, Information, Health, Love, Personal Growth, and Wealth. The five that I want to honor everyday are Balance, Connections, Information, Health and Wealth.

Thank God those are out! So what next? Good Question…..

Spectrum of colors: My journey to awareness. Oh, and yes I have a coach!

Over the next three months I will take my own journey to the colorful world of awareness. I encourage you to follow me and I challenge you to take your own journey! More to come so stay tuned!

What Are You Afraid Of?

As I grow as a coach and expand my practice I learn lots of new and exciting things. Not just about coaching, but about life in general; what moves people, what moves me and more importantly, what holds us back. I have come to the conclusion that no matter what we tell ourselves in order to justify our setbacks in life it all boils down to FEAR; the ugly F word! That four letter gremlin! This fear is disguised in so many different masks; “I’m not smart enough.” He was better for the job anyway.” “This is the way it is meant to be for me.” “I don’t have time.” “My husband thinks differently.” “My kids take up much of my time.” “I have no other choice.” OK, so maybe you really are a busy person and yes, kids do take up a lot of time that rightfully they need and of course you want your significant other to float on the same wave length as you do, but the reality that everything will fall into place every day the exact way you need to is on another playing field. And the thought that your goal should be someone else’s to enjoy sounds, well, sad.

That playing field is where FEAR is not a dreaded four letter word. It’s a place where you are fully aware, naturally creative, resourceful and whole. This place is where you allow yourself to acknowledge your fears, be with them and still move forward! This playing field has no room for gremlins. When you allow yourself the power of awareness you start to understand where your fears are coming from and why they rear their ugly heads.

What I find interesting is that individuals fear being coached. Why? Because the coaching process assists you in executing the actions necessary to achieve your goals; this process includes facing your fears, whatever they may be.

When you face your life fears you make a choice, a choice to acknowledge them, but still move forward or the choice to allow your fears to hinder your growth and simply hold you back. So there it is you do have choices. You choose to read this article, you choose to continue on your path or you choose to make a new one. This new path is way out on that playing field where there is no judgment and your gremlins are not invited. So I ask you again, “What are you afraid of?”


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